I love lists! Love Love Love. I am a lister! I wish I had come up with this list on my own, but I didn’t.  I took it from Best for Babes and in my experience, it holds very true!. I am currently working on other lists, though, which will be available in September. Enjoy, for now…

If you’ve walked into the baby gear section of store, you already know there is a lot to choose from. So many things that promise you will need them, so many that swear that they will make your life so much easier. Standing in a box store holding the little UPC gun to make your baby registry, or an empty shopping cart ready to fill with new baby gear can feel pretty overwhelming as you try to decide what is a waste of money, and what might actually make a difference in your life.

As breastfeeding is becoming more of a niche market, as we push the ability to be visible rather than ‘out of sight, out of mind’, companies meet that by creating many products geared specifically at nursing moms as well.

So what do you need? Or more specifically, what do you really not need?

1. “Just In Case” formula and bottles

A lot of women plan on breastfeeding exclusively, but have been scared into thinking they won’t have enough milk before they’ve even been able to try, so they have some formula and bottles on their registry ‘just in case.’ Babe, believe in yourself. That’s like trying a new complicated recipe for dinner, but having a bag of take-out on the counter ‘just in case.’ Give yourself the chance, and don’t mentally sabotage yourself into already preparing to fail. Lastly, if it’s there, most women will use it, because in times of worry, doubt, or stress, it will call it’s name loudly from wherever you’ve stashed it. So ban it from your home unless it truly is needed, and you fully understand how to balance the two.

2. Nipple shields or an SNS

Again, don’t preemptively decide you will need help. Leave gear like this to your trained lactation consultant to help you acquire and use properly if you end up needing it. Nipple shields, especially, can cause a whole slew of issues if not used under direction of a trained pro. (An SNS is a Supplemental Nursing System like the Lact-Aid, used for supplementing breast milk or formula at the breast, as baby nurses. We recommend working with an IBCLC in situations where a supplemental nursing system is necessary.)

3. Timers and Logs

While a mom who is very concerned about baby’s eating might want to make a simple tally of dirty and wet diapers, generally things that try to time or track breastfeeding aren’t going to do much but worry you — “If he eating too much?” “Is she not eating enough?” Remember just to watch your baby. It doesn’t matter if the baby feeding app says your baby is eating more frequently than usual today or has been nursing for a lot longer than the app deems necessary for one meal — if your baby wants to eat, feed them.

4. Nursing Covers and Shawls

To cover or not to cover, that is the question… isn’t it? While there are plenty of new mothers who like to use a cover in the newborn days when latch can still take a little time and effort, there are also many moms who feel perfectly comfortable lifting up or buttoning down their shirt. The important thing here is to only use a cover if you feel that you want to. Don’t feel pressured to use one, as there are many ways to nurse without one and many of them are just as (if not more!) discrete than a big cover. (And likewise, if you feel comfortable using a cover, never let anyone tell you that covering is akin to being ashamed of breastfeeding — it’s not!)

5. A Pump

If you’re not planning on working, really consider if a pump is even necessary. When a new mom is nervous about her supply, she’ll sometimes think she needs to pump after every nursing session (and sometimes, before, too!). This can lead to a slew of problems, including a massive oversupply.  (Which might sound good in theory, but in practice, it can be really tough on baby and mom.) If you have to go back to work or are pumping in the early days due to special circumstances (preemies, for instance), make sure you buy a quality pump that is right for your situation. A small manual pump will be the bane of a full-time working mom’s existence (most working moms prefer double-electric pumps), so tailor your pump to your pumping needs, which might include not having a pump at all. (Some Babes -even full-time working mamas- forego the pump all together and use hand expression!)

Of course, every unique situation requires unique things. You may have some reason why this isn’t applicable to you, and I’m sure many of you have your own things to add that you absolutely didn’t need (but thought or were convinced you did!). Be very aware of things that could cause you problems or even sabotage your own belief in yourself from the get-go. One of the benefits of breastfeeding is that barring issues, often you don’t need anything special at all!

Spotted at Sushisen! I stayed away from sushi restaurants when I was pregnant because I didn’t think I would find anything to eat, since raw fish is a no-no. But low and behold…Soba Ramen is good for pregnancy and for creating healthy breastmilk! Whowuddaknown?

1. Learn to just nod and say “umhmmm”

You will get ridiculous amounts of unsolicited advice. Here is another one: learn to fake-agree and ignore. The sooner you learn this, the better. See #2 for whose judgement you should really follow. 

2. Momstinct really does exist

It just does. Don’t listen to what other people tell you to do, follow your gut and your baby will be fine. You’ll see. Remember, you are the only expert of your baby. Throw away all those books while you’re at it.

3. Breastfeeding gets easier

*should you choose to breastfeed. If not, please refer to #1 when breastfeeding advocates choose to bombard you!

Listen I am the biggest pro-breastfeeding advocate I know, but I am going to be honest, it isn’t easy at first. Yes it is the most natural thing our body can do after carrying a baby for 9 months, but it can be hard. You have to persevere and you have to keep your eye on the prize. I kept thinking “Why didn’t anyone tell me this was so hard” and I found a group of women who told me it would get easier (see #4), and it did.

Added bonus: If all the added health benefits for both you and your baby aren’t enough to convince you, let me appeal to the laziness in you: once you get through the first few days, it makes your life a helluva lot easier! You can bring baby from full on crying to happily snuggled in your bosom in less than 5 seconds, anytime, anywhere. I can’t imagine bottle-fed-baby-moms at night having to stir the formula, warm it up, cool it down, make sure bottles are washed and sterilized, etc. So if you are like me and are so lazy sometimes you just hide dirty laundry in old gym bags so the husband doesn’t realize just how lazy you are: breastfeeding is for you!

It is also incredibly beautiful to look down at your baby and see him surviving off of your body. Ah…it just gets me every time!

4. Find a local La Leche League meeting in your area BEFORE giving birth

I wish I had known what LLL was before I had given birth. I would have been better prepared in the hospital for a crying baby in the middle of the night, all by myself. Most of Rome’s hospitals are notorious for lacking adequate nursing consultations, advice, and help. LLL has meetings in English and Italian and most of their consultants in Rome are bi-lingual.

5. Invest now in good maternity wear (especially bras!)

I was hell bent on not spending any money on new clothes during my pregnancy because I thought, hey, it’s only 9 months, right! WRONG. After birth you still want some room to feel comfortable in your clothes AND if you shop smartly, you can buy clothes that are not only maternity wear but are also easy access boobie clothes for the nursing mother. And remember what I said about being able to soothe a baby in 5 seconds flat? Well you need a good maternity bra for that. One that allows you to pop and expose with one hand in 3 seconds flat.

PPSSTT-I know where to find great maternity and nursing wear clothes in Rome!

6. No matter how bad you feel or think you look, everyone else thinks you are beautiful. Seriously.

It’s true, by default pregnant women are beautiful. They are creating life inside of them…what could be more natural and more beautiful than that?

7. There is no shame in co-sleeping

When Gabi was born, my mom would say “do whatever it takes to brings yourself some sleep” and what brought me sleep was co-sleeping. And what I hear from the majority of new moms who get sleep is that they co-sleep. Of course everyone has their own parenting styles, but I am just saying, if you really are suffering from sleep deprivation, give it a try. It works.

8. The no-access myth is a myth! (Rome Specific)

Once your water breaks or if you are dilated at all, a hospital legally cannot turn you away for being over crowded. If you get there and they do turn you away because you don’t fit either of the criteria, go for a walk and go back. You will be able to deliver at the hospital of your choice.

9. Your body is a wonderland-and has war wounds to prove it!

And it may never go back to being the same, or it may take a few months, but it will not be immediate. But you will love and accept it anyways because it created the most beautiful little human you have ever seen. How could we demand it to snap right back into shape after that?  Seven months later I still don’t expect too much ;)

10. Learn to Relax

I always say that the over protectiveness I felt right after Gabriel was born was the most animalistic I have ever felt. The innate reaction to protect your newborn is so electric you can feel it pulsing in your veins every time some stranger comes up to stand too close. Italians love babies and in the Italian culture it is perfectly acceptable to touch, kiss, hold anyone’s baby… stranger, friend, foe or not. Learn now to relax because you are not changing an entire society. They haven’t changed since Julius Caesar. And your baby will build some awesome antibodies along the way.